To tell you the truth, it got sort of FAT on me; I know I probably helped to contribute to this sorry state (it’s true, you really can’t out-train a bad diet), and Lord knows I’m not getting a great deal of exercise (unless you call leaping to conclusions before I have all the facts, or reaching for some kind of understanding without a foundation of knowledge, or jumping on someone else’s conversation and trying to direct the flow towards ideas I favor, or think that sitting at the keyboard and banging on the keys with my ultra-fast two-finger hunt-n-peck typing method constitutes ‘exercise’).

So Craig Ballantyne, of Turbulence Training, has begun his 13th TT Transformation Contest, with a first prize of $1,000 and a three-month premium online membership.  Only stipulation is you MUST use the TT training routines.  (I will be taking advantage of the bodyweight system, with a few light-weight dumbbells and kettlebells as additional training tools.

I’m in.  I registered on-line for the contest (this one runs from December 26th, 2011 through april 7th, 2012 – 12 weeks) and this morning had my wife take two front profile and two side profile pictures with me holding a newspaper to show today’s date (entry requirement for ‘before’ and ‘after’ photos).  WOW!  It’s amazing how different I look when I see the pictures compared to just gazing at myself in the mirror.  (can you say self-delusion?)

Okay… entered contest on-line, had “before” pictures taken, and took some baseline measurements for the record – neck: 17″; chest: 42″; waist 40″; and weight on my digital scale: 175.0 pounds.

Next step is to begin a daily journal to record my efforts in this contest.  (In addition, I’ll be posting on-line to this web-log occasionally to update my progress.)  Got my starting stats, pictures, and registration done, so now it’s a matter of “just doing it!”

I’ll be keeping a record of the food I eat, when I eat, what and why I’m making certain food choices, and the results I’m feeling as I progress.  The focus will be on ‘primal’ foods, lean proteins, non-starchy vegetables, some fruits, and avoiding most sugars, starches and breads and other grain foods.  Also, I’ll list the exercises I’m doing (body-weight movements, some basic yoga moves for stretching/relaxing,  some dumbbell and kettlebell movements, and some high-rep body-weight exercises for cardio), including which movements, when I do them, how many reps, and how I feel afterwards.

Do I expect to win the $1,000 dollars?  Not really.  But what I do expect is to make the effort, and in the end, improve my health, fitness level, and reshape my physique to a leaner, more athletic build.  And in the end, that will make me a winner.

Filed under: Diet, Exercise, Inspiration, Motivation Tagged: baseline measurements, craig ballantyne, diet, exercise, training, transformation contest, TT contest, turbulence training ]]> http://chuckpruitt.wordpress.com/2011/12/28/307/feed/ 2 chuckpruitt http://chuckpruitt.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/i-stole-this-idea-the-next-best-step/ http://chuckpruitt.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/i-stole-this-idea-the-next-best-step/#comments Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:51:41 +0000 Chuck Pruitt http://chuckpruitt.wordpress.com/?p=299 ]]> I subscribe to a weblog called the IF Life.  IF stands for “Intermittent Fasting.”  A cool concept, but not the focus of this post.  I am also into two other ideas of his, Two Meals a Day and BodyBurst Training.  But again, not the focus of this post.

The author, Mike O’Donnell, has an article he wrote and sent in his e-mail newsletter and also put on Facebook this morning.  I read through it rather quickly, as I often do, and then had a “WOW” moment; and went back to re-read it slowly and let the material sink in to my conscious.

I’ve nicknamed the idea “TYNBS” which stands for “Take Your Next Best Step.”  This is the main point of Mike’s simple motto; when you’ve done something that screws up your plans (in health, fitness, diet, training, or even your job, relationships or your lifestyle – don’t sit and whine about it.  Don’t be consumed with guilt.  Don’t even worry about it (okay, take three minutes to worry, then put it in your ‘worry box’ and forget about it).

Decide to TYNBS – Take Your Next Best Step.  As Mike explains, “It doesn’t really matter how you got there, only what you are going to do next.”  His point is this:  Okay, now what?  What are you going to do today?  What is the next best step for you to take now?  Don’t tell me that after Christmas (I really dislike calling this time of year the holidays) you plan to start a new exercise program.  I do not want to hear about the great diet you’re going to be engaged in as a new year’s resolution.  I want you (and especially me) to tell me what you’re going to do now – what’s your “Next Best Step?”

You know I recently posted an article following a small weight gain that I was going to “Quit Bread.”  I know I’m not perfect and may (probably will) slip up and fool myself into thinking, “well, it’s just this one time… I’m having a burger with some friends and I’ll get back on the wagon tomorrow.”  The goal now is to recognize the event if and when it happens and to not beat myself up over it.  I need to Take My Next Best Step.

This simple motto from Mike becomes a mantra.  Didn’t make the time to get the kettlebell swings in – take the next best step.  Disappointed my wife when I forgot to do something she had asked – take the next best step.  Let a day slide without studying my future means of self-employment as a freelance copywriter – take the next best step.  As with any of the areas discussed, including health, fitness, diet, finances, relationships, job or lifestyle, accept the mistake, quickly evaluate the situation, re-focus and determine what it is and “Take Your Next Best Step.”

This is what I’m going to do.  Mike tells us to “reflect and focus on what you want to do in life.  It won’t happen by chance.”  And like he suggests in his post, repeat this process … hourly … daily …monthly … for a lifetime.

You can, and I recommend you do, read his article here.  Then apply the motto to your own life.

~ Chuck

What else would you call someone who tirelessly works to help others – family, friends, and sometimes complete strangers?  Someone who’s home is always ‘show-ready’ and comfortably lived-in?  Who never seems to slow down – even after two complete knee replacements (one about six years ago and one seven weeks ago), major repair surgery for a torn rotor cuff injury that same year, and other surgeries and medical procedures for various personal and health problems over her lifetime?

This lady has been a widow for a bit over two years but has put her memories in a treasured mental love box (63 years married to the same wonderful man) and continues to live and enjoy life.

It has been said of her that “she has never met a stranger – just people she hasn’t gotten to know yet”.  If you meet her for the first time, within minutes, she’ll engage you in conversation and know more about you in ten minutes than you’ve shared with your best friend in ten years (okay, but it’s only a slight exaggeration).  She simply has a knack for making you feel comfortable and at home, and that she genuinely is interested in YOU – and she is!

Friends and strangers alike are often amazed, at nearly 84 years old, how she keeps going, and going, and – got the picture?  The ‘Energizer Bunny’ come to life in a senior lady that does not know the meaning of the words stop, can’t or rest.  Her philosophy seems to be she’ll rest when she’s dead and you can try, but you won’t stop her – and she really does not know the meaning of ‘can’t’ – her attitude is maybe not now, but eventually.

If she likes you (and there is an extremely small list of those she doesn’t), there is nothing she won’t try to do for you.  Need a few bucks?  Done.  Need a meal; or two?  Done.  Need a place to stay for a night, a few days, a week?  She’ll put you up and feed you, give you your own clean towels, bar of soap and a new toothbrush.  She is true Southern Hospitality come to life.  A truer friend one could not ask for.

Gracious, caring, loving, street-smart and savvy; you might take advantage of her once – but she’ll forgive you and just put you on her watch list (burn me once, shame on you; burn me twice, shame on me).

She has always kept a clean home (not just house, a home), so much so that you can eat off the proverbial floor and not have to worry about dirt or germs.  A wife to her husband that others envied, mother to two boys (okay, men now – one is 59 and one is 56 – but they’ll always be her boys), grandmother to four (three boys and one girl), step-grandma to two more girls, and great-grandmother to one (so far).

While her formal education officially ended with high school (although in her time, a H.S. education was equal to a 2-year liberal arts education today), she has continue to be involved in training her mind and personality.  She reads, not just skims, two newspapers a day (minus the sports section – except when her boys were playing sports and sometimes were mentioned), watches the news, had conversations with her husband about events around the world (usually professing to not care about the rest of the country or world – but then try to hide a tear at the plight of the poor, the disadvantaged, and generally unfortunate ones, both here in the U.S. and around the planet).

She can be opinionated about what she feels and believes, but is always willing to have an honest discussion and to be open to the ideas of others.

One of the things that changed for her has been her unwillingness to just accept things that should or could have been done better – or right.  In her younger days, she would never complain in a restaurant if her order was wrong – over-cooked steak, limp salad greens, whatever – she’d simply eat it and then tell her husband that she didn’t think they’d be coming back to that place again.

Now, having ‘earned the privilege in her old age’ as she tells it, she will send an order back, change an order completely, insist on having it her way (no matter how many times we tell her she’s not at Burger King - old advertising slogan), and kid with both server, the cook, and always over-tip (she once worked as a waitress and has great sympathy for the breed).

In spite of the artificial knee joints (now she has to show two photos to the airport screeners when the metal detectors go off), repaired shoulder, and other medical procedures, in spite of advancing years, and especially in the face of those who keep telling her she can’t or shouldn’t or she better slow down, she just keeps on truckin!

So while others might call her the “Energizer Bunny” or the “Bionic Woman”, or that “tough old bird with no quit in her”, I am lucky enough to call her “Mom.”

~  Chuck

I put on about eight pounds in the past four days.  The biggest change was the amount of bread I ate in various forms: sandwiches and dinner rolls mostly – ham sandwiches, dinner rolls with the multiple turkey/thanksgiving dinners (we had three this year: one at each of the sister-in-laws (all good, by the way) on Thursday and Friday, and one more at home when my wife, Bonnie, cooked a turkey dinner, along with all the sides, for her parents at our home).

That was the major addition to my eating over those four days – lots of bread.  And I know better… I had lost 25 pounds over the past nine months or so, mostly by limiting the starches and sugars in my diet.  (Note: I’m also a recovering Type II diabetic.)

So it’s time to go back to what was successful in the past.  That means going back to the Primal/Paleo way of eating that worked before; why I got away from it?  Laziness, loss of discipline, loss of focus on the goal of rebuilding a better ‘house’ for the Holy Spirit to travel in.  Harks back to the old Jimmy Buffett phrase from one of his songs, “You treat your body like a temple, I treat mine like a tent.”

What I’m doing with this post is laying out some guidelines for the rest of my life.  A week from today, I’ll be 59 years old.  I have been complimented by many people who hear that fact that I don’t look that “old.”  Old is a very relative concept in today’s world of advances in medicine, nutrition, health and fitness, and technology.  But I tangent —

I’ve already posted on my Facebook page a quick note that I’m quitting bread – in all its various permutations.  No more sandwich bread (plain, toasted, white, whole wheat, etc.), hamburger or hot dog buns, bagels, french baguettes, dinner rolls, etc. so my Facebook friends can help keep me track with this pledge to eat bread no more… and, of course my wife commented, “Uh-oh, here we go again” because she is the one who most has to put up with changes to how I eat and what I consume as it makes it more difficult on her when planning meals.  (Sorry, babe; but if I want to reach the physical goals I’ve set, the diet and exercise must be congruent.)

How, you ask, will I do this?  What will I eat and what will I avoid?

I’m glad you asked.

To start with, these are the things I will be putting on my Avoid List:

Sugar – including soft drinks, fruit juices, most fruits, cakes, cookies, ice cream, candies, and other forms of sugar, like foods containing High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS), corn syrup, table sugar, and other hidden sugars.  I will be using Splenda and Stevia as sweeteners during the transition completely away from any form of sugar (this may take a few months).

Starches – here I will severely limit potatoes (exception will be the small dutch potatoes we slather with olive oil and other spices and bake to go with the occasional steak dinner at home – only happens two or three times a month) and rice.  High starch fruits will also be greatly limited; but I realize that with a focus on ‘real’ foods, fruits in their natural form qualify.

Grains – basically the major avoid items… flour and flour products (goodbye burrito, hello burrito bowl), corn and corn products (so long potato chips and crackers), wheat (gluten) in any form – breads, bagels, pasta, crackers, etc.  Cereals, pizza (now that will be tough at first; I do like to pig out on a pizza and salad at Round Table), and other forms of grains.  Others may say otherwise, but I can only go with how my body reacts, and the near-elimination of these things gives me the best results.

Legumes – no more beans (my wife actually likes this one; I tended to produce negative emissions (gas? flatulence? fart? – what don’t you understand?)

Dairy – okay, this one is among the hardest to limit, but while I’ll still use 2% milk to ‘soften’ my coffee when heavy cream isn’t available, I will be getting rid of the blocks of extra-sharp cheddar cheese (sorry, Trader’s Joe) I bought and often turned into a meal by itself (along with half a bag or more of rice cakes and three or four large glasses of iced tea).

Wow, you say!  What’s left to eat?  How will you survive?

I’m glad you asked.

My W.O.E. (Way of Eating – sounds more realistic than diet, doesn’t it?  Besides, diet always sounds like something temporary and as others have pointed out, the first three letters in diet are D-I-E !!!  Here’s what’s on the To Eat List:

Meats – beef, fish, chicken, pork (ham and bacon, especially), lamp chops, turkey (mostly as a turkey burger to be eaten with a fork without any bun), all prepared by grilling, baking, pan-frying…

Eggs – lots and lots of eggs, prepared any style and usually with plenty of butter (No margarine!)  Truthfully, I could eat 3-6 eggs a meal, a couple of times a day – I love eggs.

Veggies – broccoli (steamed), carrots, celery, cucumbers, lettuce(s), onions, peppers, spinach (raw leaf), tomatoes, and even some grilled zucchini.  Most of these foods will be raw, and as you can see, can all be assembled into a terrific large salad meal in itself.  Be careful as to the salad dressing, and we’re still rockin and rollin.

Condiments – butter (unsalted), coconut oil, EVOO (extra-virgin olive oil), black pepper, mustard, salsa, hot sauce, Splenda/Stevia (already mentioned), and my one exception to the sugar/HFCS rule – once in a while, some Smucker’s apricot jam – to go with my eggs.

The few other things to eat sparingly will be nuts (almonds, cashews, walnuts), and a very limited amount of cheese – like a slice of pepperjack to go the burger I’ll be eating with a bun but with a fork (I said primal, not savage).  I will eat some fruits during the year, but mostly the standard, everyday ones like apples, bananas, grapes, oranges and watermelon.

Beverages and liquids – water (filtered and purified, preferred), tea, both black (iced) and green (hot), and coffee, tempered with a little cream (growing up my dad used to joke I liked a little coffee to go with my milk!).

Add to this mix a planned exercise routine (10-15 minutes a day of body weight movements and kettlebells, 10-15 minutes of yoga-related movements, and a couple of times a week, some basic short sprint repeats (depending on the strength of my right knee recovery), and you have the plan to make a 59-year old body metamorph back to a much younger one.  Diet W.O.E. (way of eating) and exercise – there you have it in a summary.

And in order to have a goal, we must first know from where we are starting, so as embarrassing as it may be, the key stats here are:  at 5’7″ I weigh 173 pounds (even after a full breakfast 2 hours ago) and 39.5 inches as measured around the waist at the navel (relaxed, not tensed or suck in – what would be the point then? — or as friend often jokes, “Why go for a six-pack when you can have a keg?”)  The six-pack is not my goal – a leaner, more functional torso is on the plan.

(PS:  I re-read this a couple of times and kept asking myself, is the last paragraph necessary?  But if I don’t publicize where I start from, how can I (ever so humbly) proclaim where I get to? — so it stays)

~ Chuck

So I asked my wife, Bonnie, if she would like to sing this song with me.  She said, “Yes, you know I love to sing with you.”

Then I asked her if she would sing this song with me at church… in front of the congregation?  (slight pause; change in pitch) “Yes, you know I love to sing with you.”

I then got hold of Pastor Dan (Burr) and explained my desire to embarrass myself at Crossroads Community Church.  Not only would he give us the opportunity, he would personally play the piano accompaniment for us.  Wow.

We made a date to meet to briefly rehearse the song and agreed to sing on Sunday, November 27th.

One of the things that led to this, other than the nagging chorus almost continually running through my mind, is Bonnie and I both “grew up” in church.  She as Grace Brethren and Baptist; me as a Southern Baptist – which is why in any extended conversation with me you will detect a small southern drawl, you’all.

Among the things that helped define us as we grew up in the church was the worship.  We were both raised on the great hymns and developed a huge love for southern gospel quartet music as well.  We are truly blessed at our church with both terrific singers and outstanding musicians.  It really is difficult to remain humble when our small but mighty choir performs, or our worship leaders solo, or when our musicians cut loose and play – sometimes I think the angels might even be a little jealous.

One of the reasons Bonnie and I left our previous church home was the worship was no longer inspiring.  There were several other reasons, but this post is focused on music and song, so I’ll just keep it there.  The ‘leaders’ had unceremoniously relieved a couple of previous ‘Ministers of Music’ over the course of several months and we were reduced to a small group of young men with a couple of guitars who seem to think the way to worship God was to sing simple praise choruses over and over (and over and over – okay, you get the picture).   While it was ‘praise’ and meant to be uplifting to celebrate God, it left the two us wanting in our souls.

Because we were raised more ‘old school’ in our worship music, we began to miss the hymns, especially the ones with great message and often taken from scripture itself.  In the chorus of church music, we seemed to be leaving behind too many of the old songs that meant so much to us.  And again, this song just kept running through my head and would not leave.  I started to understand what Paul was feeling when he asked that this affliction be taken from him.

So as I write this at six o’clock in the morning, I look forward to the chance to finally sing, with my wonderful wife, this song in my head and hopefully lay it to rest.  I know, there’s no guarantee of that; or for that matter, that after we sing He won’t slip another tune into my mind.

But today, at least, I’ll get the opportunity to try and expunge it from my head.  (If you’re really interested in what the song is, either be at church this afternoon, or make a comment to this post – I’ll let you know.)

~ Faith, Chuck

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone. ~G.B. Stern

What I’m grateful for (in no particular order):

1. A family that has offered nothing but support and taught me that the words friend and family should be synonymous.  And for encouraging experiments and showing me the meaning of the words ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’

2. A wife who supports everything I do.  I mean everything.  Who entertains the crazy ideas and is subjected to talking about this site and helping people do work they love, way more often than is fair.

3. A mind that believes it’s possible.

4.  My church and the many friends in Christ I have, both there and around the world.

5. An amazing mother.  As my wife calls her, ‘the energizer bunny.’  About 84 years old and just had her 2^nd complete knee replacement – now she needs two xray photos to show at the airport when she flies to visit family back east.  Thanks for everything, mom.

6. The Internet.  Because it helps to stay in touch with people in a way never before possible.

7. The ability to meet and interact with inspiring people every day.

8. My perfect wife. Oh wait, maybe I already said that. She deserves another mention anyway. 

9. To know that in the end, no matter what, God is truly on my side.

10. WordPress.

11. Writing.

12. Being able to write.

13. Books.

14. Being able to read.

15. All the people who show me that ‘impossible’ is usually not much more than a state of mind. Those who’ve done it all before me, have shown me the path and help and inspire me to walk it every day.

16. Friends.  Not just acquaintances, but friends – you know, the ones you can call for help at three in the morning, and they will be there, no questions asked.

17. My children.  Young adults now, both have grown to be terrific people, and although I don’t get to see them very much, I love them so very much.

18. And my step-daughter too.  Another amazing young woman, I envy the relationship she has with my wife – not just mother and daughter, but best of friends too.

19. Did I mention Jesus?  I’m grateful and thankful He came into my life and changed me and saved me “with His redeeming blood.”

20. A voice to sing.  In case you didn’t know it, I tend to sing all the time. Showering, driving, just walking around, with the radio, the CD player, even sometimes with the TV.  Mostly it’s like Psalms 100 (I make a joyful noise), but I do love to sing.

21. YOU.

Yeah, I’m really thankful and grateful for you.

check out my commentary on worldviews.

Thanks, Chuck

I’m writing this post on my netbook this morning, but as the location I’m at has no internet access, it most likely will not get posted until Wednesday afternoon or later.  I had said on both Facebook and Twitter that I’d be offline and without access for a few days, with only my ‘dumb’ cell phone for communications. (OOPS… I left my cell phone in the car when my wife drove off from Banning after dropping me off to help take care of mom for a few days and she was home in Claremont before she found out she still had my phone with her – can you say incommunicado?) 

Much is happening today.  It has been two weeks since my mother’s knee replacement surgery and we have an appointment this afternoon for a follow-up examination and possibly to get the staples taken out. 

The surgery was October 24^th on her left knee (she had previous knee replacement on the right knee about eight years ago).  Surgery on a Monday and the following Friday she was transferred to a rehab facility – Cherry Valley Health Care in Banning, CA – which she hates. 

The people, she says, are great… the food and timing of meals, meds, etc. are terrible.  A nearly 84-year old woman who lives alone and is used to her own schedule, having to get up at a certain time in the morning for breakfast, lunch and dinner, an occasional snack, and take the various medications at their convenient times, all on the Center’s idea of a low-salt, low-calorie, diabetic-friendly diet. 

She said if anything ever happened to her again, NO MATTER WHAT, she will not go to any such facility – she’d rather die at home first. I told her that was not an option – and to stop talking about joining her husband. 

That’s the other thing that made this a bad day. 

Two years ago today, November 7, 2009, my father pasted away. He had survived, World War Two, Korea, and a hard life – and had a few heart attacks, was on his second (internal) defibulator, and was having dialysis treatments three times a week. 

He kept telling my mom he was sorry, but didn’t want to keep on living like this – that it wasn’t his idea of living.  But my mom, who loved this man so much, just was not able to let him go.  So he tried to remain positive and go on for her. 

But finally, he had another heart episode the defib unit could not overcome.  They we sitting at dinner one night and he just sort of slumped over and started to slide from the chair.  My mom grabbed him and tried to keep him upright as she was also trying to call 9-1-1. When the paramedics, fire department, etc. arrived, my mom explained there was a ‘do not resuscitate’ order, but in her panic and the emotional distress of the situation, could not find it.  The paramedics explained that without it, they must work to save him. 

After some work at the house, he was then transported to San Gorgonio Hospital, where, after a couple days,  he slipped away around 3:00AM in the morning on November 7^th, 2009.  He died with my mom holding his hand and she was able to be at peace with it because of the extra hours she had with him. 

And with the events going on with mom regarding her knee replacement, wanting to get out of the rehab facility, and the turmoil of emotions surrounding the anniversary of dad’s passing, we have not even been able to make a graveside visit and plant a few flowers and a flag at the burial site in Riverside. 

Yes, much has happened today. 

*** add on Tuesday, 11/08/11 *** 

Well, well, well… remember the 2PM appointment to see the surgeon who did the knee replacement?  Funny how things work out. After I wrote the initial post here, I closed out and went to take my mom’s car back to Cherry Valley Health Center so I could take mom the shoes she wanted to wear, her purse, and a small fleece blanket to put over her legs in the medi-transport van that would take her to Redlands for the follow-up appointment.  Her car would not start. 

Oh, it cranked and tried, but it would not turn over and actually start; doubly frustrating because a few hours earlier I had driven it about three miles to the grocery store to pick up a few items to have at home in case the doctor released her from the rehab facility.  But, no, it wasn’t going to start. 

I ended up calling my aunt, who, fortunately, lives in the same home community (Banning Estates), and she quickly drove over to take the things to mom before the medi-transport van left the Center.  Then she volunteered to drive to Redlands with me the doctor’s office (okay, she gave me the keys and I drove her). 

2:20PM appointment, 3:10PM got in to see someone.  First, it was a nurse who said the knee was looking good, and proceeded to remove the 22 staples from her incision.  (A little ‘leakage’ of fluids, a touch of blood quickly wiped away, and a comment to “stop taking the blood thinner!)  Shortly after that the doctor came in, asked to bend the leg back, and was very pleased with the degree of motion… in fact, commenting that he had people much younger and farther along in the recovery process that still couldn’t bend their knee as far or as well.  (Told you, mom’s a tough old bird.) 

With little prompting from mom, and the understanding I would be at her home for the next couple of days, he signed the paperwork releasing her from the rehab care and allowing her to go home.  Yes, she promised, she would continue to do the exercises each day that she had been doing all along and knew from her previous knee replacement on the right leg six years earlier. 

Then it was back to Cherry Valley Health Center, sign all the necessary discharge paperwork, and by 5:45PM she was back home in her own place.  Happy, happy, joy, joy, joy! 

On the way home, in her sister’s car, and since we refused the 5:00PM meal at the rehab site, we ran through Carl’s Jr. for an order of Famous Burger (hold the onion and cheese) and a small order of fries.  You never saw someone so glad to be free of the ‘salt-free, low-carb, diabetic-friendly meal routine they had her on at the Center. 

Tuesday morning. Helped mom get the ‘shower’ chair set up, and with very little added assistance, she took a shower in her own home in her own bathroom, etc. – now a very happy camper.  I fixed her breakfast, and we discussed the things she wanted to do – including calling AAA to have her car towed to a repair facility nearby. 

Home care nurse is supposed to be here by around 11:00AM to do an in-home assessment for safety and ease of use around her home – of course, it’s a quarter-to-1:00PM now and she had called and said she was running late and hoped to be here by 12:30… mom’s gonna lay down for a while until she arrives and then we’ll fix lunch afterwards – assuming she ever gets here.  That’s why I’ve decided to add to this post and update it. < even if I’m not sure when it will get posted on Wednesday > 

We did get the car to the repair shop and hope to hear from them what’s wrong by 2:00PM and how long repairs will take – I’m only here until around 12-noon Wednesday.  

Yes, much has happen today – and the day after – but the bottom line is mom is home, doing good, and full recovery and use of the knee is expected.  See?  Prayers do get answered. 

I tried several ways to get in touch with an ‘old’ friend the last 10 days or so.

I used Facebook.  I tried Linked-In.  I joined his blog site as a member.  I tried to connect by replying to a couple of posts he did on Twitter.

I even tore though my old files attempting to locate my old personal telephone directory, and upon finding it, called his home number (hoping it had not been changed or disconnected or reassigned to another person) and left a voice mail with my name and cell number and prayed he might call back.

From his posts on Twitter, web site and blog, I made comments, asked questions, and joined his blog. (InTheBeginningMinistries.blogspot.com)

I knew that he had gone out of town for a week. Both to a conference, to see family in Indiana, and to visit the Creation Museum in Ky.  But I had hopes he might call or respond via electronic media.

Tonight (10/27/11), he returned my call.

Getting the conversation started was hard.  Neither of us knew exactly where to begin.  I thanked him for calling me back; and he said part of it was due to his being a pastor now.

Bear in mind, among the posts he had done, one was regarding forgiveness.  And I took advantage of that post to let him know I was one seeking forgiveness (and reconciliation, if possible).  So when he called, part of the start to the conversation was that he felt my original apology from several years ago was either not enough or not meant sincerely… and he was struggling to overcome that feeling.

I immediately realized that one of the reasons we had drifted apart was my failure to follow-up and be sure he knew how sorry I was.  I won’t go into the details here, but I definitely did a wrong to him.  It caused him pain both personally and professionally, and probably led to his having to change jobs.

What he had to overcome and look at to forgive me was HUGE.  It wasn’t a small thing that you can then go back and say, “Oh, that’s okay… we’re friends and he’ll get over it.”  No, it was a cause of great discomfort to him (and as a result, probably his family) and caused me to lose my best friend.  The loss of this man’s trust has been an unbelievable blow to me.  (I still haven’t forgiven myself for this.)

A little background…

In the mid-to-late 70’s, I walked away from God.  I had suffered the loss of some close family members, gone through a divorce from my first wife, and was having major financial problems, and I needed something or someone to blame – you know it couldn’t be my fault or the choices and decisions I’d made.  No.  It must be God’s fault my life was turning to excrement.

And in a series of poor decisions, I managed to break and badly damage what had been an amazing friendship since the 8^th grade.

Along with these other bad choices, I knew I desperately needed to escape both my situation and my location – so at the age of 26 I joined Uncle Sam’s Canoe Club (you probably know it better as the U.S. Navy).

 Look out San Diego(boot camp),Groton,CT(submarine school), Dam Neck, VA (A and C schools),Norfolk,VA(USS Henry L. Stimson – Gold crew), Charleston, SC (shore rotation training), King’s Bay, GA (Stimson’s home port), Norfolk, VA (again – USNS Bowditch – a retasked special survey vessel), and  Port Canaveral, FL (USNS Range Sentinel) – as well as Rota, Spain, Lisbon, Portugal, Andros Island, Bahamas, and a few other ports of call.  Yo-ho-yo-ho and a bottle of rum (no, I wasn’t drinking adult beverages, just singing pirate ditties).  A definite change of location(s).

 Then, one day at sea, God finally called me back to Jesus.

 Our ship, the USNS Bowditch, was going through some rough weather (unlike on the subs, we could simply go down a few hundred feet and ignore it).  Conversation turned to the ‘do you believe in God’ and then to “do you believe in Jesus?”  Usually I avoided these discussions, but for some reason (yeah, I know it was the Holy Spirit now too) this time I chimed in.

 I was asked why I believed in Jesus – and “because the Bible tells me so” was not going to be a sufficient response with this group.  In forming my answer, I fell back on my own personal experiences and while explaining my reasons for my faith (including ‘Lord, Liar, Lunatic’), realized I was beginning to practice apologetics (the defense of the faith).

 Suddenly, I’m back to reading the Word.  I’m starting to study again and find proofs to show why I believed in a living, caring, loving Father in heaven and what His Son means to me and wanting to share this with others.

 And others saw a change in me… a re-repentance, if you will.  I’d walked away from God and tried to do things my way and had screwed it up pretty good.  But Jesus called me back to Him and this time I knew He wasn’t promising me a life of ease and no conflict; He was simply saying that with Him, my burdens would never be too heavy and that He would carry me through when I couldn’t make it on my own.

 And that became sort of my reverse challenge to others when discussing God, Jesus and what it meant to be a Christian – I told people, “I’m sorry.  I don’t think you’re tough enough to be a Christian – it ain’t easy to walk that road; to change your worldview. I’m just not sure you’re up to it; that you won’t run away when things get too difficult (like I once did).”

 But I also knew that God had forgiven me of my sins – all my sins – past, present and any I’d commit in the future — once and for always.

Which brings me back to the present and that returned phone call.

That we were able to go from a very rough start to our phone conversation to being able to say some of the things that needed to be said and wound up talking for 32 minutes (I know because I checked the timer on my cell phone).

I reached out over the last couple of weeks to try and reestablish a connection with someone who meant a great deal to me; who I loved like a brother.  And, praise God, he did respond.

Will this go any further than his forgiving me?  I don’t know.  I hope it does.  Can we rebuild some kind of a new friendship?  I certainly am praying it might be so.  Can I ever earn his full trust again?  Well, let’s take things as they say, one day at a time.

Forgiveness is possible.  And I thank Jesus for the example He was and what He preached about it.  And I thank my friend for forgiving me and his willingness to see where time and the Lord may take this new beginning.

I won’t embarrass him by naming names.  If he should read this post, he’ll know who I’m speaking to.

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